The Beginning

We all come to this life with innate gifts.  I don't believe that these gifts are accidental.  They're all tools we need in order to fulfill our purpose in life.  And we need to fulfill our purpose in life in order to be, well, fulfilled.  And yet...here we are.  Or perhaps, here I am.  Doing everything except the very things I feel I need to be doing.  I've been talking about doing these things for years.  In fact, I've been talking about doing these things since some of  my earliest childhood memories.  And yet, with each passing day, and each passing year, I've come no nearer to actualizing my purpose.  I've actually moved farther and farther from it.  I put it off for this reason and for that reason.  I've got so many fabulous excuses for why I'm not doing anything worthwhile.  Every day I yearn for a life that I've been preventing myself from having.  I feel like a vital part of myself is missing.

So many of us do this to ourselves.  And why do we?  There are so many theories.  Simple procrastination?  I'm quite a master of procrastination, so that could certainly be a contributing factor.  Fear of success?  I've heard that one many times, but really, that theory has really never resonated with me.   I think we do it out of fear of failure and disappointment.  The fear of "what if."  What if I finally try and realize that I really can't do it and all my hopes are destroyed and I have nothing left to dream of??  What if I try and succeed and find out that it's really not all that great after all?  What if I try and make a fool of myself and expose the fact that I'm not perfect for all the world to see??  WHAT IF???  Well, what if?  That's the question.  And I intend to discover the answer.  Thus begins my journey through the confines of procrastination and fear.  Thus begins my journey to live each moment to its fullest, because I'm pretty sure that's a key component to truly finding joy and fulfillment in life.  Thus begins my journey to become the person that I came here to be.  Wish me luck!